I haven't updated for a little while. We were on break this past week, and I want feeling well for the last two days of the session before that so I took those days off, so I haven't had much of a chance to update. But our new session started today so it's time to get back to it. :)
Last week I went with a group of nine other girls to Denali, where we hiked for several miles, and camped out near a lake (we were in the Triple Lakes section of Denali, if anyone is interested) and got up the next morning to hike some more. It was supposed to be a 3 night/4 day trip, but I realized early on the second day that it wasn't going to be a relaxing break for me if I continued. My camp director, who I absolutely idolize and who gets me surprisingly well, asked me before I left if I was sure this kind of break would be what I needed to recharge. I told her I thought it'd be good for me to get out of camp (I'd had a tough end of last week) and went on my merry way. Turns out, I should have listened to her. I pictured the trip being more relaxing, like setting up camp then spending the day hanging out, maybe exploring a little, taking pictures, just enjoying being in the stunning nature that surrounded us. But that didn't happen. Everyone else had a different idea, and they were all go-go-go, wanting to get up immediately and hike as far and as fast as we could and move camp to somewhere elseand overall just be very active. So that combined with constantly being surrounded by 9 people led to me feeling very burnt out by just the second morning. At camp we talk a lot about introverts and extroverts, which really don't necessarily have much to do with how outgoing or shy you are; it's what costs you the most energy and what recharges it. So introverts, though they might enjoy being around people, use up their energy doing so, and recharge when they are alone. Extroverts spend more energy being alone, and recharge by being social. I am definitely an introvert, as pretty much anyone who knows me would know. I ended the last session burnt out, feeling like a failure, and exhausted, I needed the time to re-energize for the next (this) week and I realized that want going to happen.
So I spoke up, and said that I needed to go home (to camp). I explained that it wasn't the hiking or the camping or the rain or even the specific people, but that it wasn't actually going to be a break for me if I stayed, and that that was what I needed. I'm actually really proud of myself for recognizing my own needs, and then speaking up about it. I don't think that's something I would have done before I came to camp. We focus a LOT on communication in our staff training (yes we continue training all summer) and I've really learned and grown in that area, which has always been something I've struggled with.
So I came back to camp, where hardly anyone was, and spent the last two days of break sleeping, reading, and playing too much Candy Crush, and it was perfect. I went into this week strong.
We have ten 11 and 12 year old girls this week, which I'm somewhat apprehensive about after having had such a tough time with that age group a couple weeks ago. But I'm hopeful for this week. So far I really like the girls and I think we might actually have the potential to be a pretty fantastic group if my staff partner and I can cultivate it.
My staff partner is actually one of my biggest challenges this week. We've shared a tent the past couple weeks, and we are good friends and have a pretty good bond...But we have VERY different styles with the kids. She is very strict and follows every rule to the letter, and I feel like she's too confining. My attitude towards camp is that it's a special week, and while it's absolutely crucial to enforce some boundaries and be consistent, I think those boundaries can be a little looser. So let them get dirty or whisper after lights out or eat with their hands or stomp in puddles. None of those things hurt anybody, and it makes the kids' time at camp more special. Like my partner told a camper who was wearing rain boots to not walk through puddles. Well...why not? Like literally, what is the reason? I think that something that has come with age is recognizing that kids are kids and that some rules don't actually have reasons beyond just enforcement for the sake of it. But most of these counselors are 18 to 20, and I know that that was something I didn't think about at that age. I feel like at that time you're focusing on discipline, because you're just barely not a kid yourself and being in charge of little humans is kind of a new thing. Plus, you get to go from being bossed around to being the boss. ;) Which is fun. But I think enforcing strict rules for the sake of it is focusing on your own camp experience, like getting them to bed early or being quiet at the dinner table, and it's not about us; it's about the campers. What can we do to make the campers' experiences be safe but happy ones, with the little magic that comes with summer camp? Sometimes it means sacrificing your own craving for silence to sing yet another camp song, or playing another game when you're exhausted, or waiting for them to change clothes yet again because you let them play in the mud. It's more work for us...But it's not about us. My philosophy is to say yes when you can, and to really think about why you're saying no and if it's for the campers' benefit or for your own.
ANYWAY. I wasn't planning on getting all philosophical there, my original point was to explain the big difference between my partner and myself, and how figuring out how to work together is challenging. Which I think is a big reason my camp director put us together in the first place; she's just as dedicated to inspiring growth in her staff as she is in the campers.
I will leave off there for now and hopefully get another entry in tomorrow. I don't want to forget a single thing about this summer.
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